A Love Letter to You, Dear Couples

Have you wondered how to keep your love alive, thriving and truly fulfilling for your entire marriage? Please read on to receive this love letter from my heart to yours and my invitation to Deepen Your Love.

Deepening Your Love Couples Course

Twelve weeks to Supercharge Your Connection, Communications and Love Collaboration

One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough. - Hafiz

I have been passionate about all things LOVE, Conscious Connection and Communication for as long as I can remember.  It is often said that the purpose for our lives is to learn and grow, share our gifts with the world, and to give and receive love. And one of the absolute best ways to supercharge our life mission is to find our Beloved and to practice together. What a gift it is, to find that one person, out of eight billion, that activates the deep spark of love in you AND between you. THAT is a gift that is not bestowed on everyone, so if you are one of the lucky couples who have found your person and become part of the tribe of committed or married partners, I am here to say that you have a treasure beyond measure.     The thing about the chemistry of love is that it naturally leads you to not only want to do a lot of kissing of each other, but usually it spills over into wanting to also kiss the world.  Do you remember those early days? Your love colored glasses made the whole world sparkle. There is a generosity of spirit that arises when we are filled with love and feel cherished and we naturally offer our kindness, compassion and inspired actions with the rest of our human family and planet. 

 With all the boldness that love generates, most of you dared to stand in front of each other and your chosen community and declared your commitments and intentions to keep loving each other and doing the journey of life together, “till death do us part”. Such courage, hope and confidence you embody on your wedding day. In every single wedding ceremony that I have the honor to officiate, I end by extending my genuine and heartfelt respect and appreciation to the couple for their willingness to take this marriage journey together.  As a relationship coach for over thirty years, I know a little about what can happen in the years and decades ahead.  I am also a Social Worker by profession and in the early years of my career as I worked with young adult offenders in the criminal justice system, I bore witness to the power of homes and families that were grounded in a solid, secure loving marriage and the devastation of ones that were lacking that essential building block of safety, security and love.  So as I stand there with my newly married couple, I truly mean it when I say to them that not only is today a celebration of their love for each other, but it is a contribution to their families, their communities and the world.  It may sound lofty but it is actually true. Especially in these turbulent times, I think it is immensely magnificent that love prevails and that making commitments to walk the path of love is still inspiring hearts young and old around our globe.  So from the bottom of my heart, Thank You, Dear Couples! You are blinking satellites of love that fill our world with hope and inspiration, stability and security. 

The thing that is not always fully understood in those early miles on the trek of committed relationship and marriage is that it also is one of THE most challenging life paths of all.  

There are two of you, continuing on your own individual paths, constantly being nudged from within and from the demands of life, to keep growing and learning and refining your sense of self and your call to purpose in the world.  AND now you are also figuring out how to love and support each other as you grow, change and learn how to be a fantastic team together navigating all the big and small moments of life. A tall order indeed!! 

Yet in spite of the odds, you chose the path of love. You, alone and together, might have even realized that you may not have been fully prepared during those peak glorious, getting married times, yet you dared to commit and hold hands and trust that you would figure it out together.  

So now some genuine questions….

* Are you still having fun?

* Are you finding ways to take care of yourself and each other?

* Are you continuing to nurture that amazing gift of love that has been given to you?

* Are you remembering to BE PRESENT with yourself and each other?

* Is that dazzling spark and heart connection that was so effortless in the early days still sparkling?

* Is your emotional and physical intimacy still thriving and filling your souls?

* Are you being as authentic and vulnerable as you need to be to show up for the hard conversations so you can co create healing and new ways of being together?

* Are you figuring out how to shift from reaction to “being with” yourself and each other in the inevitable moments of upset or disconnection?

* Do you have a vision for your current life and future together that provides balance, well being, clarity of values and a vision worthy of who you are and the fulfillment you want?  (Without it, life can become a default of busy schedules, “getting things done” and allowing your precious spark to fade.)

Remember this????

“I choose you.

To stand by your side and sleep in your arms.

To be joy to your heart and food for your soul.

To learn with you and grow with you, even as time and life change us both.

I promise to laugh with you in good times and struggle alongside you in bad times.

I promise to respect you and cherish you as an individual, a partner, and an equal, knowing

that we do not complete, but complement each other.

May we have many adventures and grow old together.”

What you have probably figured out by now is that loving each other does not guarantee a successful and thriving marriage.  It takes trust, mutual respect, safety, empathy, vulnerability and mad, crazy connection and communication SKILLS and PRACTICES; things you can do, alone and together to help you be grounded and aware of yourself and ready to show up with and for your partner. 

We have all heard the phrase that love is a verb.  But how do you act on love in ways that keep it thriving if you have never learned the skills and practices that are the essential nourishment and building blocks to keep it  safe, vital and alive? We all know that that original spark that nature designed to help us get started on our journey of love can be easily injured, diminished or lost all together.  What we often don’t know is how to be fully present, self aware, powerfully attuned to ourselves and each other. We need to be able to deeply listen and speak with full ownership of our experience in utter honesty until we work through the differences, the disconnects and the daily demands of life. And we need to keep offering up our respect and appreciation for our Beloved even as we discover all their imperfections or they will wilt under the gaze of our judgements and criticisms.   

The truth about committed love and marriage is that it is ultimately a path for mutual growth. There is some strange mystery in the dynamics of so-called “falling in love”.  We are drawn to the person that initially makes us feel magnificent and then discover that they also trigger us, and put us smack in the face of some of our less evolved traits, patterns and relationship practices.  The opportunity that life then offers up is the call to grow together.  Let’s learn to be allies and champions of each other and let's stretch and learn and become the best version of ourselves with each other’s love and support.   

Where was that message in the fairytales?

And where was marriage school when we started this journey?

Well here is a mini marriage academy. 

The Deepening Your Love Couples Course is a three month set of sessions with me that will allow you to individually and jointly learn some very fundamental building blocks that are essential to tapping into the magical spark that we call love and sharing it with each other deeply and in the unique ways that each of you and both of you long for. 

It also includes a truly powerful and effective dialogue practice that helps you not just problem solve or work through differences, but actually show up as a healing and supportive champion of your partner’s well being and growth. 

You will also do a really inspiring Visioning process to identify your individual and shared core values, intentions and greatest hopes and dreams for your marriage and your lives.  From this long view perspective of the map of the future we will then identify and design the regular practices and routines that you can build into your daily lives to ensure that you continue to nurture and nourish your Love.  It is a living, breathing being, as is your marriage and just like a plant or your home, it needs regular care and watering if it is to offer up all of its fruits and fulfillment.

I have been honing these skills and practices, using them in my own relationships and sharing them with individuals and couples from all walks of life for over thirty years. 

  It is my great wish to share them with you and to journey with you as you ignite, renew and rebuild the heart connection that brought you together and help you keep it bright and beautifully rewarding for years to come. Please continue to kiss each other A LOT! and get so filled up with your beautiful gift of love that you also continue to kiss our world.   

Testimonial - K ( wife )  & A ( husband )

Recently a beautiful woman who came to me for personal development coaching twenty years ago returned with her husband to take this course.  While K is well steeped in the practices of self connection and empathic relationship and collaborative dialogue her husband is not.  He was raised in a traditional home with traditional models of marriage and what it means to be a husband.  They have been married for ten years and have had some really challenging times but a steadfast commitment to honoring their marriage vows.  They had gone to marriage counseling and while it had helped with their ability to navigate the day to day dynamics of their busy lives as a couple and parents, K said she was missing the depth of connection that she knew was possible. 

During the first session, they simply sat on the couch together and learned the fundamental practice of becoming Centered and Present, no discussion of issues or naming problems, just a genuine willingness to be guided into a quiet state of being settled in the body and in the moment and sitting side by side.  Within one short hour, they both reported that they not only felt more peaceful but they could feel their partner shifting and without a single word, could feel their partner’s presence and the connection between them.  A was quite happily surprised. He said “wow I feel great, I really like this.” They ended the session holding hands and smiling brightly.   

In the second session, A came with major resistance and said, I hardly know what your words mean Grace, I have no idea where we are going with this process. I want a plan and an end game goal and I am WAY outside my comfort zone. 

K began to quietly cry and later expressed her fear that her husband was preparing to bale.  Yet he instead said, “K asked me to try this process and I made a commitment to her and our marriage, so I am going to stay the course and keep at this even though I am super uncomfortable and feeling out of control.”  His wife then said between deep sobs; “THIS!!! This is what I have been wanting, to feel that I am treasured by you, that our love matters to you and you are willing to grow with me so we can nurture our marriage and take care of our son with love in our hearts.”  

A felt respected and appreciated and K felt loved and treasured, exactly what each and both of them were longing for.  And so they are continuing on and doing the at home practices and are both invested in learning and growing together.  Ten more sessions to go….

Please be in touch if you would like more information about the Deepening Your Love Couples Course.  It would be my honor to guide you on this journey of caring for yourselves, each other and the beautiful gift of love that has graced your lives.  

Go to the Contact page or reach out to me at gracemacleod8@gmail.com and we will set up a complimentary discovery call to explore how this course can support you. 

Love Grace