How To Find A Perfect Match Officiant and How to Co Create a Memory Making Ceremony For Your Wedding
THE MOMENT!!! The Vows! Filled with Laughter, Tears, and SO MUCH LOVE!
Dare I say, as a professional and passionate officiant that THE MOST IMPORTANT vendor you will hire for your wedding day is your Officiant. The venue masters and other magic makers that bring so much wonder and amazement to your special day cannot be praised highly enough, in my opinion, for the dedication they bring to their wedding services. Yet the odd thing is, for most couples, the choosing of an Officiant can be fairly low on the list of priorities or even somewhat confusing. There are so many options and many couples, having not been married before and not necessarily connected to a place of worship where the Officiant is actually a respected guide who is already known, don’t quite know what they are looking for.
For so very long, most couples who wanted to be married, had two choices for who would officiate their wedding, an ordained minister, priest, rabbi, or other religious leader, or a judge or justice of the peace at a Courthouse. ( of course there has long been the option of Elvis in Vegas as your Officiant and sometimes that truly is your “perfect match”)
The lovely situation today is that anyone can become ordained to perform a wedding so now you have infinite choices, from a family member, a friend, a neighbor, still your house of worship leader AND us who are professional officiants. And just like all the other vendor options you have, there are many officiants and each has their own style, gifts and contribution to make your ceremony a beautiful expression of your love and the “just right” experience you wish for your commitments.
What I wish to remind you in creating this post, Dear Couples, is that all of your vendors are being chosen by you to help you have the wedding day of your dreams. Your Officiant’s very significant and sacred task is also to help you cross the threshold from single life to married life and to actually consecrate your commitments to each other. They are also a master or mistress of ceremonies, meaning they are there to guide the process and ensure that the tone and quality of presence and engagement with you and your guests are skillfully and carefully attended to. Whether you have a spiritual orientation to the marriage ceremony or a completely secular one, you are making vows to your Beloved and receiving theirs to you and such a powerful, milestone moment deserves someone who deeply understands the beauty, solemnity and joy of the wedding ceremony. While most ceremonies only take fifteen to thirty minutes, they are meant to be life changing.
Having someone who can help you prepare, as well as help you craft a ceremony that is a unique and delightful expression of who you are and what your ceremony means to you, is something you will be so so glad you invested in, especially over the years as you put those vows into practice.
Here are some things to consider in choosing the perfect match Officiant and working with them to craft your ceremony.
What does the marriage ceremony mean to you? What do you want it to express/reflect as your reasons for getting married?
What is your orientation to marriage? A secular celebration with family and friends? A spiritual union? A religious ceremony that reflects your specific beliefs, rituals, prayers etc?
What tone and feeling do you want for your ceremony? Fun and Upbeat? Solemn and Heartfelt? Some of Both?
Have you been to a wedding in which you really liked the ceremony? What specifically did you like?
Have you experienced an Officiant at a wedding that you liked? What did you like about them and their style?
Do you want to include personal details in your ceremony ( your love story, write your own vows, ring exchange declaration statements, unity rituals, readings, music, acknowledgement of loved ones?) or keep it simple short and sweet? Do you have specific language that you resonate with and specific that you don’t?
Is there anyone else who may want input into the ceremony? parents/grandparents? someone helping you with wedding costs? FYI - you may want it quirky and just for you, your parents may feel they have a say if they are helping to pay or have a deep investment in your wedding.
Are you clear about your budget? Have you learned what Officiants do to prepare and deliver your ceremony?
Do you know what Officiants include in their fee? - This is a key question to ask a prospective Officiant.
Most Officiants have various packages of ceremonies from:
a) pre scripted, limited time involvement, show up and deliver the pre designed ceremony
b) custom designed, longer investment of time getting to know you as a couple and helping you design the elements of your ceremony
c) custom designed ceremony and engaging with your wedding party, significant family, other vendors, helping with rehearsals etc.
One common confusion to clear up…. your Officiant fee is not fully determined by the type of ceremony you are having. Example- many couples want a very personalized, detailed ceremony AND an elopement style as well. You are paying for the time, skill and involvement of your Officiant. The location and how many people attend are definitely factors in fees but the main consideration is what it is you are wanting from your Officiant. If it is a simple, already designed script that they bring to the venue and use to perform your wedding ceremony and sign your license, that of course is the most basic service. Any additional time, unique design help and rituals, other elements involved, engagement with the rest of your wedding group and vendors all adds to the value you are receiving and thus to the cost.
And Most Important of All.
What training, experience and dedication does your Officiant offer for your ceremony?
My wish for you is that you chose someone who will make you THE most important two people on the planet for those precious fifteen to thirty minutes. Someone who brings their training, skill, and devotion to helping you have the ceremony that is unique, will perfectly express what is in your hearts, bring utter joy to your Dearly Beloveds and will truly create a container of support and blessings for your life time of marriage.
Blessings of Love to You Dear Couples.
Officiant Grace