We Are So In Love! Why Should We Do Couples Counseling?
Beloved Couples that are getting ready to say I Do or are in your Newly Wedded Bliss. ( And you too, couples that are celebrating anniversary number one two or ten. :)) It may seem crazy to consider Couples Counseling when you are perhaps in one of the happiest times in your life. There can be such a glow, it seems like the world really is rose colored. Or there can be thoughts such as: “I don’t want to rock the boat, or stir the pot in our relationship. We will face the world together and together we can deal with anything!”
These are all valid feelings and thoughts and here is another perspective.
The path of committed love and marriage is one of the greatest blessings you will ever receive in your life. It is a treasure that does not come to everyone. And like everything that we want to endure and flourish, it takes nourishment, investment and a willingness to be life long learners.
Unfortunately very few of us grew up with healthy, empowered relationship skills and while we go to school to learn pretty much every skill needed to succeed in life, we don’t go to Relationship and Marriage School. The examples of marriage in our world have not been ideal and the divorce rate is daunting! Fortunately there are wonderful people who have dedicated their lives and their professional calling to creating a body of wisdom and practical guidance for how to make love last, how to deepen your connection, your physical, emotional and even spiritual intimacy over a lifetime, to be healing allies and champions of each other and to truly be a united team in facing all that life brings your way.
How Would We Begin?
A series of five counseling sessions can be a fantastic way to explore the world of Couples Counseling. What I learned when I began going to “relationship school” many, many years ago is that the relationship we have with ourself is the foundation for all of our other relationships.
I always encourage each partner to come for an individual session first. You will learn simple, yet powerful practices for BEING WITH yourself. Learning to be a best friend and a beloved to yourself is the fundamental practice that actually determines how well we can be a friend and beloved to our partner. Learning to tap into your own inner resources, to help with challenging feelings, reactions, wants and needs is probably the greatest contribution that these sessions can make.
Here is a an amazing paradox! We spend our lives looking for THE ONE and lucky you, you have found that other human who is YOUR PERSON. However what is actually true, is that WE are THE ONE we are seeking at a deeper level. We all have what is called an Authentic Self, or Source. When we fall in love it is a reflection of what this inner connection feels like when it is turned on and activated. It is a lofty and unsustainable idea that our partner will continue and always bring us that deep fulfillment that we all seek. Eventually all partners falter in their ability to give us the deep love we want. US TOO!!! When we learn to awaken our relationship with our own Source, it is like coming home. We have what we need on the inside and become relaxed, happy, confident and generous of spirit. We come to our partner with more of a full cup instead of a cup that we are hoping they will fill. When both partners embark on this path of cultivating their love relationship with their Source, marriage becomes an endless path of discovery and mutual support for our growth. We become allies in helping each other become the best version of our selves and we learn the skills and practices that help us turn hurtful unsupportive behaviors into gifts of healing for each other.
The three other sessions in the series are for both of you to attend together. It is a time to learn some absolutely phenomenal communication practices that quite frankly will blow your socks off. Now that you have had some time to explore your relationship with yourself, you will have a chance to share more authentically about your discoveries.
Learning to be vulnerable, authentic and owning responsibility for your experiences are not only very empowering, but they allow your partner to feel safe in showing up for you.
“This is me, I am holding my own experience. I own my feelings, reactions, beliefs, wants and needs and I share with you with the intention of being more transparent and to invite your support. And now that I know how to do this for myself, I can also witness you when it is your time to share.”
There are three profound Responding practices in what is called Conscious Dialogue that I have witnessed be complete game changers in marriages. We all want to feel heard, met, gotten, offered validation for our experience and empathy for what we are feeling. These are not easy to offer when we may be the perceived reason for our partner’s pain. Learning to be a truly supportive listener and responder is hands down THE MOST POWERFUL skill you will ever learn in relationship. With this combination of Conscious Speaking and Conscious Responding you will go on a journey together to find the love that you each need to heal the past and bring forth you magnificent self, and to deepen that love over the beautiful lifetime you are preparing to spend together.
I offer all my blessings, and my forty years of practice in the realms of Conscious Relationship to you, Dear Couples. It would be my honor and joy to share this gold with you and help you confidently embark on your path of marriage together.
Love Officiant Grace
Options for Saving Grace Couples Counseling
* Introductory Session to learn more about Saving Grace Couples Counseling and how it would serve and support you. - $200.
*A Series of Five Saving Grace Couples Counseling Sessions - $1500. This series can also be included in your Wedding Officiating Package. (See Services page)
*A Series of Ten Saving Grace Counseling Sessions ( Individual and Joint) - Advanced Practice to deepen intimacy, heal disruptive patterns, master authentic communication, and invest in marriage as a path of serving each other’s path of growth and transformation as well as a path of joy and adventure through the years and decades. - $3000.
In Person and Virtual Sessions Available.